Resolution Review

I stated 5 resolutions at the start of the year, and today is the best day to review whether they have been fulfilled.

1. I will start the year at my new school, SMK Chabang Empat, Tumpat, being an exemplary English teacher for form 4 and 5 students.

Well, I think we have to wait for the SPM results before deciding whether academically this resolution is fulfilled. As for the Form 4 students, their final exam results will be the decider. In terms of their interest in learning the language, I think that I had decently done my job. They surely got something from my lessons, although their daily usage of English is nothing that I should be proud of. On the whole, I have yet to change the school's culture in learning English as second language.


2. I will upgrade my daily usage of English.

So far, I only use English when speaking with the English teachers. When my students came to see me in the teacher's lounge, however, I tend to speak Malay with them to accommodate them. Worse, I used Kelantan dialect when speaking with other teachers.


3. I will try to improve my chess knowledge in order to become a better coach.

I have read some books and articles (mainly from the Internet), played online games, watched videos, and also entered tournaments in order to improve my skills. I also read a book on coaching in general, not specifically for chess and presented it in my in-service training.


4. I will shed some kilos (hopefully 1okgs) by the year end.

Negative result. My weight is still the same as the start of the year. No gain, no loss. I think this is because the fat has become very stubborn, and I need a major change of diet and a lot of exercises in order for me to get rid of that.


5. I will better my devotions to the Almighty

Insha Allah, I hope that all my prayers, recitations of the Holy Qur'an, and other devotions are accepted by Him. As a Muslim, I must continuously improve in this matter in order to become a better servant.

So, the result?

I will continue all the resolutions for this year, and will achieve a better result by the end of 2011, especially for the number 4, insha Allah. I will keep tabs on my weight and jot down under each of my upcoming posts to monitor the progress. You are also invited to monitor it with me if you want (*-*)

For the start of 2011, my weight is...

83 kilograms

#$@p!##@!

I felt really angry today. But I don't know to whom I should be angry with-myself or that #$@p!##@!. The story began in October. I received a message from #$@p!##@! offering me a phone if I 'use' a minimum of RM120 each month for the next three months until December, terms and conditions apply. During that time, my wife's phone was having some problem, so I thought 'Why not?' I rang the #$@p!##@! careline and a guy answered my call. I asked about the offer and its terms and conditions, but he couldn't tell me. Up till that time, I never reloaded more than RM100 a month, but for the offer's sake, I reloaded RM120 for that October, the subsequent November, and this very month. Today, I rang the #$@p!##@! careline again to ask if I am eligible for the phone, but to my surprise, the person who answered my call again didn't know about the offer. She took a lengthy time to check about the offer, but half an hour later, she returned and asked to make more investigation. She offered to call me back, and I duly agreed because I had something to do at that time. After 20 minutes without receiving any phone call, I rang the #$@p!##@! careline for the umpteenth time. This time, another person answered. I asked to talk with the previous person, but without knowing her name or ID number, I couldn't. Thus, I told her about my plight and she told me that I had to 'use' RM120 by calling or text messaging, but not sharing the reload with somebody else. I replied by telling her about my first call to that guy asking for clarification about the terms without success, which in turn made me to misunderstand the true meaning of the word 'use'. Then, she told me that my usage for each month was not enough for receiving the phone, so that's that.

To show you what I missed, here is the picture of the promised phone.

Why English is so Hard

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted,
but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that
you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks
who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,
how come Mother's not Mop?

Anonymous

(This poem is taken from 'Mind Our English' section of The Star, Friday 3 December 2010)